Relationships = ...

Just watched a free play by the Williams Summer Theatre Lab students, entitled "Flesh, Metal & Glass (Love & Driver's Ed). The lesson taken away was that

Theorem: CARS = DEATH

Lemma 1: (Prom night? Premarital?) Sex = Death
Proof: Where there is sex, there are cars. Hence Sex = Cars = Death

Lemma 2: Relationships = Death
Proof: Relationships = Love + Sex etc.
(My contribution: Relationships -> Death as Love -> 0)

Lemma 3: Sneezing in cars = Death
Proof: Some people find sneezing pleasurable. Some people find sex pleasurable. Hence, sneezing = sex etc.

Some horrible, horrible fallacies regarding correlation and causation there. In spite of (because of, more likely?) that, the play was quite amusing. The setting was in various regions of the US, and also in various regions of Dina (Driver)'s mind. The comparison between lovers and cars was not-so-subtly drawn, for the benefit of some national audiences perhaps, and driven home (haha, driven) by the slightly overdone talk-show hosts.
I think it was possibly just the absurdity and some of the enjoyment evident in the actors' performances that made it funny. That and the enactment of 'Tell Laura I Love Her' with people-props. Especially memorable were the cars that rolled along and the chassis that trapped Tommy. Slightly more strange was the auto-mechanic-erotic monologue. Yeah...
Cheesiness very liberally and unshamefully overdone can be qutie beneficial, apparently. Now I'm left folding clothes and musing about the fact that none of the cars I've driven has been owned by myself. Given the various equalities demonstrated above, however, I may be better off this way.